Gone With The Wind
by LineChokor
Summary: Cato's dead. Peeta left her. Katniss is desperate and wants to suicide. But before she does that, she wants to apologize to everyone she ever harmed. One-shot.


**This is a One-shot I wrote one night when I couldn't sleep. I hope you enjoy. Don't blame me if there's any mistakes, it was late at night.**

**Anyway, enjoy, and please, remember to review.**

I look around me. Everything is plain, ordinary, molded, and covered with thick dust. I don't even bother cleaning, I'm going to leave soon. Now, I am mentally gone. Soon, I will be physically gone.

I am sure that no one will even bother looking for me. They all disappeared with the wind. Friends, family, even _him. _He's probablyin the arms of another. That's what I heard. And who can blame him? It's hard to watch the woman you love mourn the death of a previous lover while she's with you. And now, he's gone. Peeta's gone, just when I realized that I loved him too. It took me too long to figure that out – 6 months to be exact- . Too damn long. I pushed him away, thinking that he'll just be another distraction from my love to Cato. But little did I know, that I felt something for him too. That something was great, but not as great and deep as my love to Cato, but I still loved him nonetheless.

I guess it's true; you don't know what you have, until you lose it.

Pride. That is the reason I am alone. My pride wouldn't let me admit to him that I didn't love him back.

My pride wouldn't let me tell my family about the events behind closed doors. Fights, verbal abuse, hate. All that directed from me, to him, the sweet and loving baker, with the dashing smile, and pure heart.

My pride wouldn't allow me to be taken care of. I pushed away every single family I had. Because of my stupid pride.

I grab a few papers, a pen, along with a knife, and walk into my bedroom. I leave the window open a bit, and sit down on the floor, cross legged and start writing.

_Dear Cato,_

_What can I say to you? I mean, my mind goes blank when I think of you. But in a good way._

_There's nothing I can say that would express how great you are, how much you meant, and still do, to me._

_I love you, with every fiber of my being. _

_I'm sure you're looking down at me right now, with that goofy grin of yours, glad I'm safe._

_Yeah, well I am not. I was not safe since the day you died. Since the day you left. And I hate you for that. You always said it was you and me against the world, forever and always._

A few droplets of my tears stain the paper, marking the words as they pass. I wipe them away harshly and continue.

_But you lied. You left. At least, you did put up a good fight against luck and fate. But the odds weren't ever in our favor._

_You left me with Peeta, knowing that I will be safe. But I wasn't, not at all. I wasn't emotionally safe. Peeta attacked me with his kindness_, _and made me fall for him. He took a place in my heart without me actually knowing, and now he's gone, just like you. _

_I miss you, and I want to see you so bad. And I will, baby. _

_Hope you can forgive me when we meet again._

_Katniss._

I put the paper aside, take another one and begin again.

_Dear Peeta,_

_I am terribly sorry for everything. I am sorry for taking advantage of you, of our relationship. It wasn't real, but somehow it was, for me and for you._

_I will never forget the times when you'd hold me in your sleep, kiss my forehead reassuringly during a nightmare, the loving glances you gave me when you thought I wasn't looking. But I was, and deep down, I knew I liked it. I didn't deserve them though, and I still don't._

_You're simply amazing, for putting up with me, my outbursts, my meltdowns, my stubbornness, and my flaws._

_I tried to love you, I really did. It's just in those last few weeks we spent together, before I completely pushed you away, I opened up to you, as well as my heart, and just when you're gone, the feelings that I tried so hard to ignore hit me like a brick wall. All those overwhelming feelings were just too hard to resist._

_You're sweet, caring, with a big heart. That's why I don't deserve you._

_I hope you can forgive me, for everything I'd ever done wrong to you._

_Katniss._

I continue thanking and apologizing to every single person I ever harmed, whether mentally or physically.

I grab with the knife with shaking hands. It slowly makes its way to my stomach. The pain is excruciating at first, but it slowly, but surely fades away. If it wasn't for the warm blood trickling down my hands on the floor, I would've said that the pain was just wisps of my imagination.

I fall to the ground, aware of the cold wind shaking and opening the window, also slapping me in the face, sending chills down my spine.

The papers on the floor are carried by the forceful wind out the window.

My last reminiscents are gone with the wind. I just desperately hope that someone find them, and keep them. I don't want the last bits of me to go unnoticed.

Goodbye cruel world, I will miss your eeriness.

I see the lights, and hear someone calling me. In my state of in between two worlds, a small "Goodbye" manages to escape my lips.

**How was it? I feel better writing dark things. I don't exactly do well when writing happy things.**

**Also, for those who are waiting for Blood Sacrifice to be updated, hopefully, I'll update tomorrow or Sunday. I am writing the chapter right now.**

**Review please.:)**

**Line.**


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